Onward

God works in mysterious ways... so they say. I'm curious to see in hindsight what God was up to with me this summer. He granted me an amazing job, but I am hard-pressed to be able to fully enjoy it at times because my allergies are horrendous there. Why, God? If God wants me somewhere wouldn't He make it easier for me? Obviously not.

I wrote that about a month ago. Since then I went to the doctor, tried some new allergy pills and prescription nose spray... and I hardly notice my allergies at work. Thank You, God.


There was a hill. Two lone trees sat at the top. One rose with a majestic peak toward the lone cloud in the blue sky; the other hunched next to its neighbour in resilience to the blazing sun. They were both beautifully green with ample branches for climbing and were close enough together to provide welcome shade for a hanging hammock. I sat at the base of the hill, squinting upwards. I grinned, hugging my hammock closer. What a glorious day for a glorious nap in my hammock. But, I was almost too happy to move. It was almost better to stay where I was, basking in my imagination than to go and actually hang up my hammock.

Erm... yes. I think there are things that are so perfect - such as having a relationship with God that is so intimate that you can hear His voice and are consistently filled with His peace - that I look up to from my seat at the base of the hill and I love the view soo much! But, I don't care to do the walking up the hill because then it isn't fun anymore. The view is lovely and being there is even better, but the in between is hard. I'm over simplifying of course... I'm certain the in between isn't all hard, but it's the starting out that seems the most difficult hurdle to cross.

Well, that sounds rather vague... ok... let me clarify. I want that relationship with God. I want to be perfectly aligned with Him so that all that I desire is what He desires. ("Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4) But, how do I get there? Am I just seeking this to satisfy myself and not to any greater purpose? Is that OK? Haha... it's strange to desire so strongly something that's so good... it's making me question it's goodness.

I want to read my Bible more... that is, I want to read my Bible until I actually get time to read it and then I kind of squirm and know it's a good thing to do and squirm some more wondering if it counts if I read it only because I think I should. *Sigh*... and that's why it can be so hard to motivate myself to start moving up the hill.

Anyway... I don't have much more to say than that. I haven't posted in a super long time and figured it was time to write something. I need to do some more deeper thinking... my brain is getting lazy.

Abandoning the Art of Complaining

So.... about a month and a half ago my roommate and I were talking about complaining and about the verse "do everything without complaining or arguing..." (Phil 2:14) She told me that she had given up complaining for Lent one year and I suggested we start to give it up right then. So we did.
The reasoning?
I think that in this context Paul was warning the Philippians against complaining that led to divisions within the Church. But, what does complaining ever achieve? Is it ever useful for building up and encouraging one another? Does it ever inspire greater unity? You could argue as Job did (in Job 6:5-6)

Don’t I have a right to complain?
Don’t wild donkeys bray when they find no grass,
and oxen bellow when they have no food?
Don’t people complain about unsalted food?
Does anyone want the tasteless white of an egg?

And in context the argument would perhaps be just. There are times when we need to release emotions built up inside and a good rant can be quite healthy. But, use caution when choosing who you rant to. Rant to someone who keeps you reasonable. Don't rant to someone who encourages your anger or depression.

Anyway... the first weekend of no complaining was actually pretty easy, but I also wasn't too stressed and didn't have much to complain about. Beginning the next week it became a little more difficult. No more, "arg... I hate chemistry labs..." on Monday mornings and no more "Why is it still snowing!!"

The result?
When I stopped complaining, I stopped focussing on the negative and began looking for the positive (especially when I was caught complaining and tried to cover it with some positives). It always bothers me when people complain a lot and so I was glad that I wouldn't have to bother others with meaningless complaints. Ceasing the complaining forced me to change my perspective and to focus on the positive. And that's enjoyable.

Lately I've been forgetting my attempt to quit complaining and it's been sneaking back in (especially in regards to the long, cold winter weather). So, here's reminding me again,

"Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life..." (Phil 2:14-16)