Onward

God works in mysterious ways... so they say. I'm curious to see in hindsight what God was up to with me this summer. He granted me an amazing job, but I am hard-pressed to be able to fully enjoy it at times because my allergies are horrendous there. Why, God? If God wants me somewhere wouldn't He make it easier for me? Obviously not.

I wrote that about a month ago. Since then I went to the doctor, tried some new allergy pills and prescription nose spray... and I hardly notice my allergies at work. Thank You, God.


There was a hill. Two lone trees sat at the top. One rose with a majestic peak toward the lone cloud in the blue sky; the other hunched next to its neighbour in resilience to the blazing sun. They were both beautifully green with ample branches for climbing and were close enough together to provide welcome shade for a hanging hammock. I sat at the base of the hill, squinting upwards. I grinned, hugging my hammock closer. What a glorious day for a glorious nap in my hammock. But, I was almost too happy to move. It was almost better to stay where I was, basking in my imagination than to go and actually hang up my hammock.

Erm... yes. I think there are things that are so perfect - such as having a relationship with God that is so intimate that you can hear His voice and are consistently filled with His peace - that I look up to from my seat at the base of the hill and I love the view soo much! But, I don't care to do the walking up the hill because then it isn't fun anymore. The view is lovely and being there is even better, but the in between is hard. I'm over simplifying of course... I'm certain the in between isn't all hard, but it's the starting out that seems the most difficult hurdle to cross.

Well, that sounds rather vague... ok... let me clarify. I want that relationship with God. I want to be perfectly aligned with Him so that all that I desire is what He desires. ("Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4) But, how do I get there? Am I just seeking this to satisfy myself and not to any greater purpose? Is that OK? Haha... it's strange to desire so strongly something that's so good... it's making me question it's goodness.

I want to read my Bible more... that is, I want to read my Bible until I actually get time to read it and then I kind of squirm and know it's a good thing to do and squirm some more wondering if it counts if I read it only because I think I should. *Sigh*... and that's why it can be so hard to motivate myself to start moving up the hill.

Anyway... I don't have much more to say than that. I haven't posted in a super long time and figured it was time to write something. I need to do some more deeper thinking... my brain is getting lazy.